I feel like I’m playing some poor guy who really likes me. I’m not trying to play him. I’m just trying to forget about my ex. I should be over him by now but I’m so attached in do many ways. I feel like I can’t tell anyone the things he knew about me, things that not even my own family, like parents, and sibling should know. It’s my fault for that loss. That is why I should carry on with the consequences. Maybe just one day I’ll feel comfortable enough with another person, and feel the happiness inside of me. Just one day I’ll be happy with my emotions.
I hope today I made the right decision. I can’t go forward with certain situations because I’m not happy with myself. Lowest self esteem. I feel stupid, awkward. I feel like I don’t matter to the people around me. I’m everyone’s lady choice because people feel sorry for me. I’m boring. I’m trapped and drowning with these thoughts.